In Home


So it has been a week I returned to India. Everything seems fine, except the house which even after a week's cleaning still looks dirty to me. I can stand that because I am having other important things on my mind as of now.
I have fallen behind a lot of things in the college and I am now not at all enthusiastic of filling in. It is like I am drained and I am draining even more.
On the other hand, my sister is pregnant again, which means she will be visiting every week or so for her check-ups at our doc. This is getting rather tiresome as I have to fix her the appointment and be with her all the time! But I have to, there is no choice.
My exams are not yet over (as I missed them in March) so I have to drag myself through those books whilst all my friends are enjoying their summer.
With all these things in my mind, I am all filled with an odd feeling that you get when you feel remorse and jealous..but I really don't know why I am suffering these feelings. I am waiting for the exams to get over so that I can jump-start things. Until then I think I will have to suffer these stupid feelings. Though I have no clue how exams and my mixed feelings are related.
My love life is heading nowhere..I am really scared where I will become an involuntary celibate. I know that there is a lot of confusion in this area of my life, but that doesn't buy me reasons to be so uninterested.
On the other hand, my love for food has increased tremendously in last few weeks. I am eating anything that is edible and inedible. I am putting on weight but that's not an issue as I know how to get off as well. The issue is I am cooking most of the day...But whatever,
I am happy...I am home!